Friday, August 31, 2007

My Partner in Crime is Getting Married


Mamiji called me the other day to announce the joyous news of Gorkha's, my cousin's, upcoming engagement/wedding.

As I drove to work the next morning, I had so many memories and thoughts racing through my head. My partner in crime is getting married. Out of our age group, that only leaves my cousin, Simrin, and I that are single. Aaaah!!!!!


Gorkha has always been the one to make others smile, to make them feel welcome in a new environment. He was the one that went and greeted all 300 guests at his older brother, Goldy's wedding and reception.

In our family, we have more girls than boys. I remember when all of us were starting to grow up, my brother Babbu and Gorkha said they needed to start working out because most of their cousin are girls :o).

Gorkha was my single buddy after Goldy and Jyoti got married. He was the one that I would do spontaneous Starbucks or Jamba Juice runs with. We would leave everyone else at home and take off. I remember once, mumma and everyone were ready to leave and Gorkha and I went out for coffee and didn't return for a couple of hours. When we got back, my mom was so annoyed because she had wanted to leave Bakersfield before it got too late. These are memories I will forever cherish.

I used to cuss a lot- I mean a LOT. One day, for my 21st bday party (at home), Gorkha told me he wasn't coming. I believed him and the rest of my cousins. When Jyoti and I got home that day, Babbu told me that Buddy had a poopoo accident in front of the bathroom and told me to clean it up. I got pissed because why couldn't he do it himself? I was so mad that i said every bad word I knew. Finally, I took some paper towels and walked towards the bathroom... low and behold, Gorkha has a horrified look on his face. Holy mother of God!! I was so embarassed. Since that day, I don't think I cuss half as much. Now, it's only to be funny.

Gorkha's very creative. He thought of my nicknames such as Pasta Sauce and Raguuu. He even had our new bhabhi to be believing that my name is Ragu, not Raju. And she think he's sidha sadha?! HA! Love you :o)

He is the "Bhoo" in Bhoo...jeee...yaaaa -in reference to my mom and his relationship. I'm the "jee" and Babbu is the "yaaa".

For Jyoti's mayiaan, he did the most boliyan and the most giddha from the boys' side. He was my competition and my partner. (The boys couldn't win without me helping them!). Gorkha was one of the very FEW that did'nt let the giddha die. After Jyoti and our parents shooed us inside to go eat dinner, he was the one that came back with me to sing, "time hoya ni poora, ik boli hor pauni." The boys went at once to put vatna on Jyoti. I guess she took some of it off and Gorkha went right back up there to rub some more on. Classic.

No matter what happened, Gorkha would never get blamed. He is everyone's laadla, be it us cousins or the moms. Even I couldn't compete with him! For example, one summer when we were much younger (maybe back in 97 or 98?), we were all in Delano, at Simrin's old house. It waas summer and extremely hot so we all decided to have a water gun/water balloon fight- in the BACKYARD. It was boys against girls. Well, Gorkha decided to hide out inside house- figured the girls couldn't get them in there. After a while, we all came inside with our waterguns and balloons ready. We heard the boys and started spraying. Guess who comes around the corner? Papaji (my nanaji- mom's dad, God bless his soul) swings around the corner with his khoondi and all of us running towards him (of course this was before we realized it was him standing there). He got sooooo mad. He blamed it only on the girls- EVEN though Gorkha started it!!! But, no... can't blame him. It's true what I sent to him on his birthday last year... bhen bhravaan da tu laadla, chan varga mukh tera... tenu vekh ke asin haan jinde, aunda pyara bathera. Love you :o).

Once Goldy got married, everyone always picked on Gorkha about when he would get married. Same thing happened to me when Jyoti got married. We were a team! Either we would work as a team and defer the topic all in all... or throw eachother under the bus to keep the heat off ourselves. Good times :o).

He is also a middle child.

It's weird, whenever all the cousins would go out to dinner and a movie... it was always him and I that would pay for either dinner or the movie tickets.

One of my favorite memories is when we were at the house in Tracy. I think this was a little after Jyoti's wedding... or maybe a couple days before. Gorkha and I were sitting on the barstools and eating on the breakfast nook. Coincidentally, I had a small bowl, a smaller spoon, a shorter glass compared to Gorkha's. He went and pointed out everything such as, "Normal people's bowl, Raju size bowl; Normal people's glass, Raju size glass... etc." The funniest and most coincidental was when he saw a mini nectarine in the fruit basket and a grapefruit right next to it. He goes, raju size orange; normal people orange. LOL.

Him, Babbu, and I were the only ones who had the nerve to do the "chakki peesing and peesing" move at Jyoti's reception. I think we'll patent that move hehe.

I remember a couple years ago, he called and I told him I was studying. He asked what I was studying and I told him that I was learning about strokes. He starts to ask me quesitons and stuff about strokes. I gave my answers; however, when I asked him if I was right, his response was, "I don't know- I was just asking for fun."

When we all went to Magic Mountain a couple of years ago, it was Gorkha's and my idea to do a bhangra gesture on the roller coaster ride. We wanted to have that on the picture, but the ride was so fast that as we got closer to the camera, the force of the ride pushed our hands and head down. Next time.

He is one of three people that I know who will greet everyone and can make anyone comfortable in a new environment. He's the only person that can cheer me up when I'm down.

Another very funny memory is from Goldy's wedding reception in Bakersfield. We were all dancing. All of a sudden, the guy comes on the loud speaker and says, "we ask that everyone please take a seat. The entertainment has arrived." HUH? I looked at my cousins and yelled, but WE ARE the entertainment. We gave the "entertainers" 15 minutes and then we started creeping on the stage... slowly everyone else joined and the "entertainers" were pushed to the side. Hee hee.

Of all the times that I'm going to most miss all my cousins being together, it will be Gorkha's engagement. Although it will be one of the happiest days of my life to see my brother get engaged, then married, to his soulmate... I will miss my other cousins who will not be there due to the distance created in the past couple years, because of certain incidents. No matter what, though... it will be one of THE HAPPIEST days in my life.

Monday, August 06, 2007

What does it take?


As I looked at pictures from my nanaji's funeral, one picture stood out from the rest. My mom, mamaji, both my massi's are all hugging eachother. The only person missing is my younger mamaji. My mom and her siblings have lost touch over the years- over minor things. Some of them haven't heard eachother's voice for over 7 years. They finally reconnected after my grandfather passed. Didn't his heart ache to see his kids happy with one another? Didn't he yearn to see all of his kids before he took his last breath?

My mom hadn't seen her mom in over 4 years when she passed away. To this day, my mom has a black hole of not being able to say good bye to her mother.

This brings me to the distance my cousins have created amongst eachother. Because of past incidents, no one wants to talk to eachother. Massi's kids don't want to talk to mama's kids and vice versa. We are all we have of our extended and immediate family. Tomorrow, when we are all married and have kids, don't we want our kids to have Easter egg hunts at one house, celebrate Thanksgiving at another, and Christmas at another? Don't we want our kids to hang out, go to Macaroni Grill for their tomato soup, all of them get together and go to theme parks, the taller one picking on the shortest one?

What does it take? What will it take for all of us to come together again? I hope nothing along the lines of what caused our parents to reconnect. Think about it.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Once in a blue moon

Today, I gave in to Erwin- just this once!