My Partner in Crime is Getting Married

Mamiji called me the other day to announce the joyous news of Gorkha's, my cousin's, upcoming engagement/wedding.

As I drove to work the next morning, I had so many memories and thoughts racing through my head. My partner in crime is getting married. Out of our age group, that only leaves my cousin, Simrin, and I that are single. Aaaah!!!!!

Gorkha has always been the one to make others smile, to make them feel welcome in a new environment. He was the one that went and greeted all 300 guests at his older brother, Goldy's wedding and reception.

In our family, we have more girls than boys. I remember when all of us were starting to grow up, my brother Babbu and Gorkha said they needed to start working out because most of their cousin are girls :o).

Gorkha was my single buddy after Goldy and Jyoti got married. He was the one that I would do spontaneous Starbucks or Jamba Juice runs with. We would leave everyone else at home and take off. I remember once, mumma and everyone were ready to leave and Gorkha and I went out for coffee and didn't return for a couple of hours. When we got back, my mom was so annoyed because she had wanted to leave Bakersfield before it got too late. These are memories I will forever cherish.

I used to cuss a lot- I mean a LOT. One day, for my 21st bday party (at home), Gorkha told me he wasn't coming. I believed him and the rest of my cousins. When Jyoti and I got home that day, Babbu told me that Buddy had a poopoo accident in front of the bathroom and told me to clean it up. I got pissed because why couldn't he do it himself? I was so mad that i said every bad word I knew. Finally, I took some paper towels and walked towards the bathroom... low and behold, Gorkha has a horrified look on his face. Holy mother of God!! I was so embarassed. Since that day, I don't think I cuss half as much. Now, it's only to be funny.

Gorkha's very creative. He thought of my nicknames such as Pasta Sauce and Raguuu. He even had our new bhabhi to be believing that my name is Ragu, not Raju. And she think he's sidha sadha?! HA! Love you :o)

He is the "Bhoo" in Bhoo...jeee...yaaaa -in reference to my mom and his relationship. I'm the "jee" and Babbu is the "yaaa".

For Jyoti's mayiaan, he did the most boliyan and the most giddha from the boys' side. He was my competition and my partner. (The boys couldn't win without me helping them!). Gorkha was one of the very FEW that did'nt let the giddha die. After Jyoti and our parents shooed us inside to go eat dinner, he was the one that came back with me to sing, "time hoya ni poora, ik boli hor pauni." The boys went at once to put vatna on Jyoti. I guess she took some of it off and Gorkha went right back up there to rub some more on. Classic.

No matter what happened, Gorkha would never get blamed. He is everyone's laadla, be it us cousins or the moms. Even I couldn't compete with him! For example, one summer when we were much younger (maybe back in 97 or 98?), we were all in Delano, at Simrin's old house. It waas summer and extremely hot so we all decided to have a water gun/water balloon fight- in the BACKYARD. It was boys against girls. Well, Gorkha decided to hide out inside house- figured the girls couldn't get them in there. After a while, we all came inside with our waterguns and balloons ready. We heard the boys and started spraying. Guess who comes around the corner? Papaji (my nanaji- mom's dad, God bless his soul) swings around the corner with his khoondi and all of us running towards him (of course this was before we realized it was him standing there). He got sooooo mad. He blamed it only on the girls- EVEN though Gorkha started it!!! But, no... can't blame him. It's true what I sent to him on his birthday last year... bhen bhravaan da tu laadla, chan varga mukh tera... tenu vekh ke asin haan jinde, aunda pyara bathera. Love you :o).

Once Goldy got married, everyone always picked on Gorkha about when he would get married. Same thing happened to me when Jyoti got married. We were a team! Either we would work as a team and defer the topic all in all... or throw eachother under the bus to keep the heat off ourselves. Good times :o).

He is also a middle child.

It's weird, whenever all the cousins would go out to dinner and a movie... it was always him and I that would pay for either dinner or the movie tickets.

One of my favorite memories is when we were at the house in Tracy. I think this was a little after Jyoti's wedding... or maybe a couple days before. Gorkha and I were sitting on the barstools and eating on the breakfast nook. Coincidentally, I had a small bowl, a smaller spoon, a shorter glass compared to Gorkha's. He went and pointed out everything such as, "Normal people's bowl, Raju size bowl; Normal people's glass, Raju size glass... etc." The funniest and most coincidental was when he saw a mini nectarine in the fruit basket and a grapefruit right next to it. He goes, raju size orange; normal people orange. LOL.

Him, Babbu, and I were the only ones who had the nerve to do the "chakki peesing and peesing" move at Jyoti's reception. I think we'll patent that move hehe.

I remember a couple years ago, he called and I told him I was studying. He asked what I was studying and I told him that I was learning about strokes. He starts to ask me quesitons and stuff about strokes. I gave my answers; however, when I asked him if I was right, his response was, "I don't know- I was just asking for fun."

When we all went to Magic Mountain a couple of years ago, it was Gorkha's and my idea to do a bhangra gesture on the roller coaster ride. We wanted to have that on the picture, but the ride was so fast that as we got closer to the camera, the force of the ride pushed our hands and head down. Next time.

He is one of three people that I know who will greet everyone and can make anyone comfortable in a new environment. He's the only person that can cheer me up when I'm down.

Another very funny memory is from Goldy's wedding reception in Bakersfield. We were all dancing. All of a sudden, the guy comes on the loud speaker and says, "we ask that everyone please take a seat. The entertainment has arrived." HUH? I looked at my cousins and yelled, but WE ARE the entertainment. We gave the "entertainers" 15 minutes and then we started creeping on the stage... slowly everyone else joined and the "entertainers" were pushed to the side. Hee hee.

Of all the times that I'm going to most miss all my cousins being together, it will be Gorkha's engagement. Although it will be one of the happiest days of my life to see my brother get engaged, then married, to his soulmate... I will miss my other cousins who will not be there due to the distance created in the past couple years, because of certain incidents. No matter what, though... it will be one of THE HAPPIEST days in my life.

What does it take?

As I looked at pictures from my nanaji's funeral, one picture stood out from the rest. My mom, mamaji, both my massi's are all hugging eachother. The only person missing is my younger mamaji. My mom and her siblings have lost touch over the years- over minor things. Some of them haven't heard eachother's voice for over 7 years. They finally reconnected after my grandfather passed. Didn't his heart ache to see his kids happy with one another? Didn't he yearn to see all of his kids before he took his last breath?

My mom hadn't seen her mom in over 4 years when she passed away. To this day, my mom has a black hole of not being able to say good bye to her mother.

This brings me to the distance my cousins have created amongst eachother. Because of past incidents, no one wants to talk to eachother. Massi's kids don't want to talk to mama's kids and vice versa. We are all we have of our extended and immediate family. Tomorrow, when we are all married and have kids, don't we want our kids to have Easter egg hunts at one house, celebrate Thanksgiving at another, and Christmas at another? Don't we want our kids to hang out, go to Macaroni Grill for their tomato soup, all of them get together and go to theme parks, the taller one picking on the shortest one?

What does it take? What will it take for all of us to come together again? I hope nothing along the lines of what caused our parents to reconnect. Think about it.

Once in a blue moon

Today, I gave in to Erwin- just this once!

To Eric, on your 40-day passing...

Dearest Eric,

As your 40 day anniversary approaches, I am in disbelief that you have been gone from our lives for so long.

I saw Gee last week and didn't quite know how to greet her, how to talk to her, how to have a conversation with her. A part of me wanted to embrace her and tell her I'm so sorry that all this has happened. The other part of me wanted to make jokes to lighten up the mood. I never figured out the "right" way.

As I approached Gee at the Cheesecake Factory, I was numb. One of my best friends was a widow now, at 36. She had lost her soulmate, her best friend. I saw a smile on her face when she saw me.

I sat down and we started talking... it was Gee, Larayne, and I. As always, we all had so much to say, so much to share with eachother. I'm sure you remember those dinners. You were so sweet, how you just sat there and listened. I'm sure you thought we were crazy- we acted like we were little high school girls. Never once did you look as if you were bored.

After about 20 minutes of catching up, I finally turned to Gee and asked her how she was honestly doing and if she was ok. She said she's ok... she's fine. She said she's ok because you aren't suffering- aren't in pain anymore. She said she saw how much you suffered your last two weeks on Earth and she was so happy that you were out of that misery and into God's loving arms. She said, had it been sudden, she would have been angry at the world, angry at God... but she's not. She is at peace. She is at peace, knowing you're with her at all times. I felt so relieved after she said this.

She is so strong and so courageous, Eric. Please ask God to give her the strength she needs to get through this hard time.

This is for your 40-day anniversary:
Dearest Eric, first and foremost... although physically you are no longer here with us, you will forever remain in our hearts. Our monthly dinners, followed by dessert and tea at the Hiroshi's are memories I will always cherish. You were the only guy that would go with us, the only one that would reply to our crazy email threads. We know you're smiling upon us from Heaven and we hope you can see just how much you are loved and missed.

Love, Nev

"Honor Killings"

I was looking at CNN's home page last Friday and came upon this article. It is about a 17 -year old girl who was dragged out of her home and stoned to death by her family members and others in BROAD DAYLIGHT. Uniformed officers were present, but did nothing to stop the "honor killing".

Thousands of "honor killings" are reported yearly, around the world. Iraq has already reported at least a dozen. Honor killings are described as stoning someone to death, due to the family member shaming the family. Dua, the girl that was murdered last month, was seen with a man of another religion. She had been blamed for converting to that religion (Sunni) and for marrying the man- she hadn't done either.

*this video is graphic, so be cautious... however, please pass this around so crimes like this aren't hidden from the world. It makes you be VERY grateful for living in the US, where women have rights.

http://www.cnn.com/video/partners/clickability/index.html?url=/video/world/2007/05/18/todd.stoning.death.cnn

Negativity and evil...

I've been disturbed since Sunday night. I have a strong gut feeling that something bad is about to happen at home. Probably a huge arguement. I know who the culprit is for my dad's mood swings and asshole behavior. Let's see how it goes when I go home tonight.

How is it possible that one person's negativity can affect so many people -if not everyone- around. Why is it that someone can work hard all day long, with a smile on their face, yet the minute one person walks in with a frown and negative attitude, it can change all that? Why would someone be so mean?

My mom worked hard all day long last Sunday. She barbequed, cooked other things, and was happy. My dad comes home with a frown on his face and doesn't even say a single word to her and goes to sleep. Why would he do that? What could mumma have possibly done to have deserved that? She asked him at least 3 times (that I heard) if she can get him chicken or steak. No answer. WTF?!

Last night I went home and asked him how his day was. He was about to say something, but then he just made a face and said, "It was ok." Why does someone have to be so dramatic? If something is bothering you, say it, for God's sake! Why are you punishing your wife for something she didn't do. She barbequed because you wanted to last week. This is the thanks that she gets?? Evil. Can't he just be nice and act like a good husband -not even good father- and give his wife the love and care that she deserves... just for a month?? I keep telling myself that it's not my marriage and I don't have to sort things out for them, but it breaks my heart to see my mom hurting.

...which brings me to tomorrow's topic: marriage through my eyes.

Diabetes Tour

www.diabetes.org/tour

Who's going to join me? We have all been affected by this disease. It runs very highly in our family. Let's support the cause. We'll create our own team. I need 4 (at least) more people. Come on!!! We have an option of 25k, 50k, or 120k... I'm sure we will all do the 25k.

When: Sunday, June 10, 2007
Where: Hewlett-Packard, 3000 Hanover Street, Palo Alto, CA

More information to be posted later.

Toodles!

Superstitions...

I think everyone believes in at least one superstition. This morning, while driving to work, I was thinking about all the superstitions I believe in... man, am I a superstitious person!! Here are the ones I can remember at the top of my head:

• If you have only one brother, you (the sister) cannot wash your hair on Thursdays; technically, "they" say you shouldn't cut your hair, drink alcohol, or eat meat on Thursdays either (this is for both men and women).
• If your right palm itches, you will get money; if your left palm itches, you will lose money.
• If you are a boy and your right eye twitches, it's good luck; if your left eye twitches, it's bad luck.
• If you are a girl and your right eye twitches, it's bad luck; if your left eye twitches, it's good luck.
• You don't burn candles during the day time- bad luck.
• If you bite your tongue, lip, cheek, etc., someone is cursing you (or talking poorly of you).
• If you're leaving your house (or any house) to go somewhere and you trip over something, you should sit down for a few minutes (get some water, etc.).
• Don't walk under a ladder.
• There is a single second in a 24-hour period, when you say or ask for something, it will come true.
• If a black cat crosses your path, either go a different route... or, wait for another car/vehicle to drive through first.
• If your shoe is upside down or on its side, turn it right side up or you'll get in trouble.
• When with friends, don't split a pole, tree, etc.... or you might split your friendship.
• Never hand a knife directly to a person; lay it on the table for them to pick up. Same goes for scissors.
• If you sneeze more than once (within a close period of time), someone is thinking of you/missing you.
• If you get the hiccups, someone is thinking of you/missing you.

I think that's it for now :o)

What is wrong with me?

Seriously. This is my rant blog about boys. Please, if you can, shine some light. I'm going to, more than likely, jump all over the place, so try and follow.

Here's the thing: I have no problem getting a guy's attention. I have had guys from all ages, corporate levels, races, single, married (yes, married), blah blah blah, ask me out. Why is it that after getting to know these guys, there's always something wrong?!

Let's start with PW (we will only be using initials, since I'm sure this blog is searchable). He was tall, handsome, very successful, single, and had an English accent! Yeah, but always BUSY. He's either working 12 or 13 hour days or travelling for work. So, out with him. Not only that, he wasn't family oriented and if you know me, you should know that family and friends are my world.

Moving on to SU. He was awesome from the outside. My age, single (well, that's what I was told,... haven't yet confirmed it), good looking, successful (not quite as much as PW, but SU is younger), respectful. He turned out to be a FREAK.

LS. Italian, very successful as well, handsome, cute accent, curly hair. MARRIED. I'm very nosey, as everyone who knows me knows... so I asked him why he's single. He said he's not, he is married. *mouth wide open*. He said his wife is very busy, very career oriented. They have only been married for a little over one year and he doesn't get to see her for two months at a time. Well, then... don't you think you should get out soon? It's not my place to say, but... seems to me, the longer you're in it, the harder it's going to be to get out. He said he also wants a family one day, but now, she doesn't. She just wants to focus on her career. Married. Enough said. Moving on.

These are just a few examples. What is wrong with me? I don't care for anything other than personality. How is it that some of my friends from high school are already married and I'm totally single? Not that I mind, though... because I am enjoying this time to getting to know myself. Ever since high school, I have had a boyfriend, been in a relationship. I've never known what I like to wear, eat, listen to, watch, etc. For the past year, I have re-discovered myself as ME, done what I've wanted, when I've wanted and not had to answer to anyone. I have been going to the gym consistently for over one year. I'm happy :o) It's just that I don't understand why I never find a decent guy. I think I'm a nice person, I do nice things for people. I have a good heart (most of the time). I'm the only person I know that would offer a stranger help to find her car at night, in a mall parking lot. I'm the only one who would offer a ride to a really old man (he was a much older Indian grandpa walking down the street in San Leandro- didn't want some hoodlum kids to harass him). Why only very old, or married, or busy, or freakazoids? Goodness. Well, we shall see who is next on the list :o)

That was just me complaining and confused, as usual. Confused, not complaining :o)

The power of true friends

I have to tribute this post to my good friends (and chosen family).

On Friday night, I had dinner with my girlfriends from Roche. I really miss the people and the atmosphere. I don't think I've had so much fun in a long time. Just being with Geraldine, Larayne, and Hycie makes you feel so much better. Talking about the same people, making the same old jokes- ah, the memories. Too bad Eric couldn't join us- but, there's always next time.

We have made it a "tradition" to have a dinner every month. Although we all communicate via email everday, it's not the same. Along with the Monthly dinner, we have incorporated a dessert theme. Everyone brings a dessert to dinner... Each month, after dinner, we go over to The Tarumi's and have Green tea (which Hiroshi makes for us- isn't that so sweet?!) and our dessert. We sit for a couple of hours, sipping tea, and enjoying our dessert. It's the best remedy to a long week, personal problems, stress, etc.

I just hope they all know how much they mean to me. I would do anything in the world for them and hope nothing but the best for them in life. Love you guys xoxoxo

The beginning

Today, I decided to creat a blog. Quite honestly, I have way too much time on my hands at work. Looking through Craigslist, email, online shopping websites gets old and boring after a while- and News is pretty depressing.

Until I can think of something better to write, harp, complain, humor you all about, I'll be ending this here. Short, I know... but, give me time and you'll be reading essays.

toodles for now

xoxoxo